Tag Archives: Confession

NEEHU 6: Prologue: The Undiscovered Country

“Bring Him Home”

or

Six Unconferences and a Movie

Somewhere over Utah, it hit me.

I was going back to the start.

Was it only last year? It feels in so many ways like it was only yesterday that I was thrown from the saddle of my usual life. When I decided to take the plunge and check out the New England Erotic Hypnosis Unconference (“NEEHU”). When I decided to attend my first kink convention. When I decided to embrace a part of me that I had only fed in fits and starts. When my then-job helped by laying me off mere hours before I was to leave. When my wife straight up told me to go, despite the layoff, because the plane ticket and the NEEHU ticket were already paid for, and I’d otherwise just mope about the house all weekend. When, in so many ways, my life began.

In that time: I have traveled across the country (counts on hands) four times after decades where I couldn’t be near an airport without two stiff martinis and a Xanax; I have been composing (with Lee Allure) a book on Hypnosis (still working on it, thank you very much) and engaged in easily 50-plus hours of hypnosis by LeeAllure over the span of a month for it; have become friends with people whose blogs I used to read in fits of jealousy, and now I know them, have played with them and have blogged about it (wait a minute…. What are you feeling right now?); have been asked to teach at two events on either side of the country about different ways of being a better hypnotic subject; have had my first piece of erotic fiction published on the inestimable mcstories.com website, source, font, and catalyst of so many people’s fantasies and kinks; I have found friends-so many brilliant, wonderful, sexy, fun, intelligent people who have accepted me as one of their own, and if they’re not happy to have me come out to see them, they sure as hell fake their enthusiasm; and, as I write this, I am on my way to NEEHU6, one year later, and I can say that I have found a community that I can call home.

Is the community perfect? Dear lord, no. But is your family/sports team/religion full of perfect people? (I mean, answer that honestly.) Any individual community within a society will have some reflection of that society, even if it’s reaction or opposition to that society. And heaven knows, it’s not a perfect society.

But I can now write this sentence—and it’s a sentence I never thought I’d write—this is my community.

And I’m coming home.

 

*          *          *          *          *

 

So I’ll be blogging about my experiences this year. In part this is because I applied for and received a blogger’s scholarship from NEEHU (thanks, guys!) so I have pretty much committed to it. I have also volunteered to be on (counts on fingers again) seven panels, ranging from a hypno-blogger’s panel (hey guys! Come and say hi!) to a really erotic group trance session that Lee and I will be performing on several willing volunteers. In a separate room. With blindfolds (for the participants).

I’ll provide recaps of each of my classes, as well as, hopefully, providing an idea of what it’s like to be at NEEHU. Again. If you’re out there and on your way, please come and say hi. If you’re in the area and not joining us in Hartford, what’s your problem? And if you’d like to attend one day, make sure it’s soon.

And please, please, please, use my experience as encouragement to chase whatever dreams you have (whether or not they include an –ehu attendance) and try them.

You may just find a new home.

Twenty-two (22) things you may not know about me.

I was tagged in one of those memes, so here are 22 things you probably don’t know about me.

 

22 things about me.

 

1.         I am mentioned in a footnote in a reasonably famous film director’s biography.

 

2.         I lived in San Francisco for a while, and the thing I miss most about it is actually the weather; I love sunny cold days.

 

3.         I overuse parentheses and semicolons.

 

4.         If you ask me, and you have about 30 minutes, I will explain my theory for why Phil Collins is a more important (and influential) musical figure than Bob Dylan. Also, I actually believe this.

 

5.         My mother had a book in her bookshelf about “using self-hypnosis to unlock your mind’s potential.” I found it while looking for erotic stories. This explains everything.

 

6.         I used to be incredibly naïve until a relatively old age. At 27, I finally hooked up with a girl I had had a crush on for about two years. At some point in the evening, she looked at me and said “Have you ever pulled anyone’s hair?” There are several correct answers to this question. The best one is probably “You mean, like this?” But there’s also, “Show me what you mean,” or “tell me more about this,” or, maybe even, “yes.” The worst possible answer is the one I gave: “No.” With no follow ups at all. About two years later, thinking back on that night and wondering why she got so cold to me so quickly, it hit me like a cement truck.

 

7.         I have a soft spot for ABBA.

 

8.         My favorite city that I have visited is probably Copenhagen.

 

9.         My formative political views came when I watched an Oxford debate on the relative merits of the Western Nuclear Alliance debated between the PM of New Zealand and Jerry Fallwell. I was 12. New Zealand won.

 

10.       I used to be absolutely terrified of public speaking.

 

11.       My worst birthday was my 12th birthday. At lunch, my class sang me happy birthday (as was the tradition) but no one thought to see if I was there; I had gone to the bathroom. My grandmother called me two days later, and admitted she had forgotten which day my birthday was.

 

12.       I miss Friendster.

 

13.       I have light triskaidekaphobia

 

14.       I think I am more fascinated by the reality and fantasy of “power exchange” and am turned on by its many intricacies, more than I am of being in any particular role. Likewise, many of my fantasies and short story ideas involve a switch in the power dynamic.

 

15.       Until this year, I had not finished a short story since I was in grade school.

 

16.       I have told three friends about my interest (and experience) in hypnosis; all of them have been extremely supportive. I find this amazing and humbling.

 

17.       Until 12 years old, I was going to be a priest. Kelly M’s breasts changed my life.

 

18.       Until Sophomore year in college, I was going to be an astrophysicist. I couldn’t get my head around differential calculus.

 

19.       I am the first person to ever fax an admission application to Oxford University.

 

20.       Prior to my current relationship, my previous three relationships were with woman who—almost certainly—had either borderline personality disorder and/or bipolar disorder.

 

21.       One of those women, when we finally broke up, wrote a seven-page, poorly written e-mail describing how I was to blame for everything and describing certain intimate details about my sex life, particularly the use of a pink vibrator. This email was sent to a master list of about 200 people who had been invited to a jointly-hosted New Year’s Eve Party, many of whom I did not know. This had three consequences: 1) at Halloween that year, my roommate dressed up as the vibrator; 2) at a Halloween party a year later, I started to tell a fellow I had just met about this story, and he interrupted me with “Oh! You’re THAT guy!”; and, 3) my friends stuck by me, despite these details being revealed.

 

22.       I find the judgementalism in this community perplexing; as if people want to hold on to the one quality that has forced us to form this community for some masochistic reason. Yet I also am continually surprised at how kind, open, and wonderful so many others are.